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Alone

Alone.


That word effects most people. Even me. It was a great war inside me. I would not accept that I'm alone in my life. But it was the bitter sweet truth. Here is the difference between aloneness and loneliness. 
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Loneliness is feeling lack, feeling of missing something, a pain, a depression, a need, an incompleteness, an absence.
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Aloneness is feeling fullness, presence, aliveness, a joy of being, overflowing love. Nobody is needed, you are enough.
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When I get to know the difference between these words, something hit me so badly. Aloneness means being complete with myself. And I didn't know that for a long time.
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*Flashback* I used to be alone at my secondary school. Eat alone, study alone. I don't know why even I was alone but yeah. I used to cry because I have no friends at school. But I didn't know that I'm actually happy and complete with myself. Being a teenager is difficult. Can't think wisely. 
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Then when I entered university it was a great blessing. I had friends everywhere I go. THEY ARE AMAZING FRIENDS. I LOVE THEM. Yet I still feel alone. I had great friends, yet I was feeling alone. Then I Google Search "why I'm feeling alone", the definition of aloneness. Read so many articles about it. And the answers were just MIND-BLOWING. I didn't know Google is so smart too give great answers. It says "Being alone is happiness". And I'm here like what?!?! I was taught by people around me that aloneness is something wrong /bad. Since that day my mind was relaxed, happy, didn't bother much of feeling aloneness. I never felt lonely.
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This is my insight. Everyone is alone. Even though you're in relationships you are alone. You born alone and gonna go to heaven alone. I go through everything alone. My pain is the greatest teacher in my life. It taught, still teaching great things. Only I can feel and understand my pain. I can share my pain to my close person but they only can be support and make me comfortable. During my injection day my parents will be crying seeing me in great pain. "Mum you look ugly when you cried. Please smile", me. I always make comedy when I'm going through pain. Why should I support my pain by crying? I'm going to make myself happy no matter how pain it is. Trust me you will see this world differently. It is really beautiful place. It depends on us. How we see this world. 

Sooooooooooo have great day!
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Live life beautifully

Much love, Nisshaa❤❤

#epilepsy #epilepsyawareness #dystonia #dystoniaawareness #sick #loveyourself #aloneisgood
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